My reactions to the tweet above were as follows:
1. A soaring ha-Ha-Ha-I-HATE-that-too! accompanied by the gravity-defying feeling of sisterhood that is only produced by ridiculing the same grandiose bullshit.
2. Followed immediately (to the point of being simultaneous, even) by a rural-Tuscan-soul-crushing oh-No-No-I-AM-that!
3. And? A full week of AM-I-that? Alternated with Damnit-I-AM-that! (I am. If you don’t believe me, please see 400 words about my fucking feelings and a bagel recipe.) Repeat.
Because I don’t want to be that writer, I promise you, going forward, one tight paragraph (maybe two) before a recipe, with a light shower of profanity and absolutely no semi-colons (only because I don’t know how to use them).